Category Archives: Lifestyle
Michelle Muir’s debut collection of poetry, Nuff Said
Poetic Justice
Michelle Muir’s new book of poetry touches on everything from erotic desire to education
By Khalid Magram
Playing with words just comes naturally for spoken-word artist Michelle Muir, who is showcasing her one-of-a-kind style in her debut collection of poetry, Nuff Said. Her unique method involves Muir (who also goes by the moniker Nuff Said) alternating between several imaginary personalities, all of whom she now brings to the pages of her book.
Solid Sistah, as she also calls them, are featured every few pages and give the reader their two cents on varied topics. “They are my layers of mood and attitude,” she says. “All of them, word warriors.” So, who are these six mythical divas? There’s Dina Desiree, the conscious and liberated one, and Nikki, who is a friendly and forever-smiling diva. There’s also a forked-tongue militant named Mona, a modest Ms. Muir and Indigo, a performer and a dreamer. Lastly, there is Shugga, a bootylicious beauty.
Muir, who is also a teacher with the Peel Region District School Board, entertains her readers through the Solid Sistah and a multi-dimensional journey on topics including race, class and gender. Her poetry also touches on education, community pride, love, erotic desire and politics through drama, spoken-word and music.
“I wanted to write this book since I learned how to write,” says Muir, who was CBC Radio’s 2006 Poet Laureate and the 2006-2007 Poetry Face Off champion. It was these experiences that helped her rise to poetic prominence. But Muir’s poetry, which cleverly fuses the language of the modern-day urban setting with her personal take on African-Canadian rhythm, began much earlier than 2006.
She learned spoken word by hearing her parents recite West African stories. There was also her stutter, which she credits as a catalyst for mastering wordplay. “Because of the stutter, I wanted to say many things in as few words as possible,” she says. “I learned how to play with the words while learning to control the stutter.”
She’s come a long way since then, having performed spoken-word poetry for audiences across Canada and the United States, even being dubbed an ambassador for literacy. With the fifth track of Muir’s spoken-word CD, which comes with her book, it’s easy to see why. The track addresses “lapses in our synapses,” and is an inspirational poem about the lack of actions, disregard and discontent of Africans and Africa.
“I believe all of us are writers, the question is how and what you write and what tools you use,” Muir says. “Nuff Said poems speak of social issues, topics that make people think.” Her award-winning poems, My Fantastic Voyage to Planet Irresistible and I Hope They Ask the Things I Didn’t, are also included in the debut poetry ensemble. “After reading this book, there is nothing more to say in terms of who people might think I am,” she says. “This is it, enough said.”
From bitterness to happiness
By KHALID MAGRAM
Don’t let the hurt fester – saying sorry is a prescription for a healthier, happier life.
Mad at someone, lusting for revenge or in need of delivering your own apology?
There’s not better time to join the likes of Sandra Bullock’s hubby Jesse James, Toronto mayoral candidate Adam Giambrone and golfer Tiger Woods in delivering a mea culpa and amending for your transgression.
The latest research on happiness affirms the potent power of forgiveness to make you happier, healthier and improve your relationships.
“The evidence shows that happiness does increase over time, when people are more forgiving,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a research psychologist and author of The How of Happiness.
In her studies, Lyubomirsky found spin-off benefits to those subjects who were told to write apology letters to someone they have wronged.
“By letting go of the long held grudges, some can even have unique relationships with people they once despised,” Lyubomirsky said.
No one likely knows this better than Aba Gayle. She spent more than a decade submerged in her desire for revenge against Douglas Mickey who stabbed her daughter to death in California in 1980.
But, as soon as she dropped her own forgiveness letter in the mailbox, Gayle says “all that horrible ugly, intense anger and rage that I had been carrying around all those years and all that need for revenge was gone.”
Living out his life in San Quentin prison, north of San Francisco, Mickey’s also found Gayle a passionate advocate to take him off death row.
“It took me 12 years to forgive, but I didn’t understand the teachings of universe the way I do now,” she said. “I tell people forgiveness is not something you give away, it is a gift you give yourself.”
Forgiveness is also an most important feature of successful marriages and family harmony.
Seeking and granting forgiveness is paramount if you want relationships to survive, according to Calgary-based family counsellor Jean Mackenzie, who says excessive anger can be lethal to a relationship.
“If one does not do the work necessary to forgive the hurts of the past the continual expression of excessive anger can erode feelings of love and trust in the relationship,” Mackenzie says.
It can lead to anxiety, anger and resentment among other physical and emotional ailments.
On the other hand, the health benefits of forgiving your transgressor and not holding grudges are infinite.
One study on forgiveness shows personal ego as the hardest barrier to overcome. Removing it from the equation and then looking at the situation can give a very different perspective, researchers concluded.
Taking responsibility, reflecting on the situation and apologizing can also be the first step in preventing reoccurrence of another wrongdoing, experts say.
All the religions of the world have scriptures and lessons about forgiveness.
In Islam, for example if you wrong someone and that person is no longer there to forgive your wrongs, it is advisable to meet with his loved ones.
“If someone you wrong died then you give charity on his behalf and ask his/her family to forgive you,” said Habeeb Alli, an Imam with Canadian Council of Imams. “Same as we want to be forgiven of our wrongs so does others.”
All sins and wrongs are forgivable, he added.
Put in in writing
Tips to consider when writing a personal apology letter:
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes – how would you feel?
• Apologize as soon as possible – but better late than never…
• Start the letter by apologizing and state exactly what you are apologizing for
• Try to provide a reason for what occurred
• Always acknowledge the feelings of the other person
• Accept full responsibility for what has happened
• Do not blame the other person when you offer your apology
• Promise not to repeat your mistake
• Ask that they give you another chance and the opportunity to prove yourself
• Say that you will call them shortly to apologize in person
Source: Personal Apology Letters
How to seek forgiveness
Engage in self-confrontation: Examine your actions and motives, be the first to confess and apologize and, if appropriate, reconcile and restore your relationship.
Self-disclose: Share your feelings and story with family members or loved ones, avoid confessions in which you blame or fail to accept responsibility. Search for solutions instead of blame.
subhead: How to give forgiveness
Live your own forgiveness: We all have experiences where others have forgiven us.
Remember, people’s sense of worth is important, realize that by forgiving them you aid in their personal experience of forgiveness.
Seek with all your heart and mind for anger to be lifted: This may often include prayer, meditation, or some other activity to rid yourself from anger’s poison.
Develop empathy and emotional understanding for the situation of your offender: For example, do they have parents or children? What were the circumstances surrounding what they did?
Source: www.foreverfamilies.net
Special to QMI Agency
Contest sticking around
By KHALID MAGRAM
At least they won’t have to worry about a wardrobe malfunction. One advantage of duct-tape prom outfits, according to the maker of Duck brand duct tape which is unrolling its 10th anniversary Stuck at Prom scholarship contest this year.
“The joke is that they can always keep the duct tape handy just in case,” said spokesperson Laura Pierce, of ShurTech Brands.
To celebrate the anniversary of the quirky competition, 10 prizes with a total value of almost $30,000 will be given to Canadian or American high school couples and their schools if they can stick together to create an original work of matching prom attire made of duct tape.
This year’s competition could prove a bit tricky though with the introduction of a new public voting format.
Piecing together a win won’t be easy: Workmanship counts for 30%, originality for 25% and use of colour 15%. Accessories and quantity of duct tape both count for an additional 10% each.
Judges – anyone can vote at stuckatprom.com - will pick those to win prizes for first, second and third, and seven runners up.
The first place couple will receive $3,000 each and $3,000 for the school that hosted the prom. Second prize is $2,000 each and third prize is $1,000 each, also with matching amounts for their schools. Runners up will receive $500, as do their schools.
Organizers say the contest developed from two main ideas, education and creativity. However, many contestants take part to have fun and showcase their creativity, Pierce said.
That doesn’t mean competition isn’t intense.
“Last year we had participants from four Canadian provinces and contestant from 44 U.S. states took part,” Pierce said.
Since its inception in 2001, more than 5,500 students have participated and $80,000 has been awarded in scholarships.
Some of the most interesting outfits include a peacock dress, a dress made by combination of mesh wires and duct tape and a crotchet dress that the yarns came from duct tape strings.
Couples interested in participating can find the official rules and registration form at www.stuckatprom.com. Participants need to submit the completed forms with a photo of themselves in their creations by June 7.
2009 Winner
Dress code identity
Photo by KHALID MAGRAM
Anisha Bhaloo, 16, is a volunteer with Aga Khan Ismaili Muslim Volunteer Corps. She feels very proud wearing a uniform every time she is on duty at the Jamatkhana (place of worship for Ismaili Muslim community).
“I especially felt proud wearing my uniform on the day we met our spiritual leader,” Bhaloo said. “We even received a special blessing from him (Imam) for putting together the religious event and for assisting seniors in the community.”
Bhaloo and the Aga Khan Ismaili Muslim Volunteer corps. were volunteering by assisting more than 20,000 Ismaili Muslim community members from across Eastern Ontario, who gathered at the Rogers Centre to meet their Imam (Spiritual leader) on Nov 22.
She said her uniform in some way is a sign of leadership and responsibility.
“By just wearing the uniforms people could pick me up from a crowd and expect me to know, more than someone without a uniform,” She said. She felt great and didn’t know there were so many people who needed her help.
Dress code can have a profound sense of self and even a deep meaning for many who are required to wear it. It can also have an immense impact on one’s identity, accomplishments and recognition. However, for others, enforcing dress code on a section of society like students inhibits and takes away their identity.
The current topic on uniform in schools is a controversial issue. It has left many students, parents, teachers and some politicians at odds with each other.
Toronto District School Board currently needs 80 per cent of parent’s approval to implement the school uniform policy. However, TDSB is about to consider 60 per cent approval rate in order to make it easier to implement the policy.
According to Dale Goldhawk, a talk show hosts from Toronto, many students feel this is another way for teachers and parents to impose their authority on them.
At present, about 10 per cent of high schools within the Toronto public system must wear some sort of uniform.
Some pros and cons of wearing uniform at schools:
Pros:
I. Reducing distractions for students
II. Instilling a sense of community
III. Keeps away intruders
Cons:
I. Some students say it takes away individuality
II. Some students also argue that uniforms violate their freedom of expression
III. Parents raise concerns about the cost
For Bhaloo, the uniform in schools debate is rarely a part of the conversation with her friends. But when the topic ever comes up, some are for it and other are against it she said. Some simply stating that it saves time in the morning and reduces laundry loads on the weekends. The other side stating that uniforms looks ugly and causes them to look fat and like everyone else. “For others it takes away their individuality,” She added.
Bhaloo, whose school is not requiring students to wear uniforms, at least not yet, thinks wearing uniform during school might have very little impact on her personally.
She has no problem wearing a uniform whenever her school decides to bring the dress code in effect.
“Students will be wearing uniforms only during school, a place where you go in the morning and leave in the afternoon,” She said. “I can also still maintain my identity by how I do my hair.”
According to Bhaloo, school uniforms have less identity impact compare to other type of uniforms, like those of team sports or major organizations’ uniform like Scouts, Girl Guides or even work uniform.
Nargis Rasuli has worn work uniforms with Tim Horton’s, Burger King and while working for a movie theater. She thinks wearing uniform at work, school or for an organization though uncomfortable for some. It is a good thing for maintaining unity.
“It shows that they are as the saying goes, all for one and one for all,” Rasuli said. “I also know students who do wear uniforms and still have pretty strong sense of their identity.”
Christina Friend is Scouts Canada’s communications coordinator. She commented on the impact of Scouts Canada uniform on its members. She has seen youth enter the program not very confident and leave with a completely different outlook and part of that success is definitely the uniform, she said.
Friend also pointed out the opinion and fondness of the founder of Boys Scouts regarding Scouts uniform.
“The uniform also makes for Brotherhood, since when universally adopted it covers up all differences of class and country.” – Baden Powell, ‘Lessons from the Varsity of Life’, 1933.
Lost parrot reunites with worried owners
BY KHALID MAGRAM
Following a short chase, Gary Bintsis reluctantly abandoned his pursuit of Alex. After all, Gary could not fly. And on this misty spring day, Alex was determined to test-drive his unclipped wings in an open sky. In the matter of minutes, the bird was out of Gary’s sight.
“He is not like a dog,” Bintsis said. “Soon he was somewhere up in the trees.”
“He then had to call his wife, Polly Bintsis to break the sad news he knew she would not take lightly.”
“I was crying, I was dying,” Polly said. “We had so many people helping us look for him.”
Losing a pet is distressing and knowing where to look, who to contact and how to find your pet can be very overwhelming.
The Bintsis’s 1-year old male, African Grey Parrot, named ‘Alex’ flew away from couple’s shop located at Danforth Avenue just east of Victoria Park Avenue. They were completely devastated and unsure how they would ever cope.
“You get so attached to your pet, you feel like it’s your child,” Polly admitted. “So I felt depressed and anxious.” “She was determined, as any mother would be, to find her child and even went so far as to acquire the help of a pet psychic.”
Luckily, after three days of stressful and sleepless nights, and a search that seemed relentless, the Bintsis’s found Alex. The bird had flown into a back yard of a house in the Main and Gerrard Street in Beaches/ East York area. The homeowner took the bird to the local Humane Society’s animal shelter.
Bintsis said that it was not until Polly contacted Rob, who had lost his female parrot Amy. She learned Toronto Humane Society has a bird she was describing to Rob. Shortly after, the Bintsis’s were reunited with their bird.
“Life had returned to normal once we got Alex back,” Bintsis said.
According to the Toronto Humane Society, a non-profit organization separate from City of Toronto’s Animal Services, every year thousands of much-loved pets, become missing pets in GTA including some here in East York. Many are never seen again by their owners—a heartbreaking experience.
A few safety measures can spare pet lovers the distressing experience of searching for their lost pet.
Technological advances such as pet microchip identification and registering a pet with organization such as Humane Society can help. Keeping record of your pet’s veterinary bills, proof of purchase and pictures/video of you, and your pet can free you from hassle of proving proof of your pet’s ownership.
“We did not have any veterinary bills, registration receipts just few pictures so it was a hassle,” Polly said.
For further information on how to find or report a missing pet, please visit the Toronto Humane Society’s website:
http://www.torontohumanesociety.com/lostandfound/default.asp
